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Coming Out support
Telling people about your sexuality is called coming out.
You don’t have to tell anyone you’re lesbian, gay or bisexual if you don’t want to. It’s up to you who you tell, but you might feel happier if you can be honest about who you really are.
A good idea is to start by telling someone you really trust, and who you know will be supportive. It might also be helpful to get an idea about people’s attitudes towards sexuality before you talk to them.
Lots of people that you tell will be really positive and will be proud of you for telling them, they might even be flattered that you trust them enough to tell them. Sadly, not everyone will be so positive and supportive. You should be prepared for some negative reactions and understand that this may be a difficult thing for some people to understand or come to terms with.
Once you have come out to one person the process does not end there, throughout your life you will find yourself in situations and around people where you feel the need or desire to disclose your sexual orientation.
Ultimately there is no right or wrong way to come out, do it the way you want to and the way you feel comfortable.
The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone, there are lesbian, gay and bisexual support organisations across the world who are there to offer a helping hand, a friendly ear, and who have vast experience of helping people just like you.
The prospect of coming out is a scary one for many, and there are lots of concerns around being rejected and left in isolation. In all situations there will be positive and negative effects of coming out, and when looking at the best way to do it, it’s almost impossible for anyone to give a perfect guide to the event. But, here are a few ideas on the do’s & don’ts of Coming Out:
1) Contact LGBT Forum Progresfor support and guidance every day of the week. A quarter of all of our calls are about issues related to Coming Out. Our stuff are all individuals who are used to dealing with many issues and if they can’t help you straight away they’ll know someone who can.
2) Use a trusted friendship to ask for support. Test the water by talking about subjects relating to sexuality before your ready to pour your heart out. Sometimes people don’t always react the way you think they will.
3) Ask a teacher / gay friendly worker for support and advocacy, there are many people out there who can help; they’re not just their to find you accommodation or tell you about the drama club.
4) Be yourself – be honest and respectful to your feelings and the feelings of your family and friends. When you’re finding out about fabulous new friends and surrounding yourself with all kinds of gay influences to make up for lost time – don’t forget about those who have always been there for you.
5) Ask yourself why is now the best time to come out? If you’ve got other stresses going on in your life; exams, flatmates, work, school, friends, family etc, now may not be the best time. What do you hope people’s reaction will be? If people aren’t as supportive as you’d like, do you really need the added pressure of their baggage while your getting to grips with what you want to say?
1) Own the reactions and feelings of others. You need to be sure of what’s right for you and that can change. It’s easy to be influenced when you’re feeling unsure or insecure about something, but you know deep down what’s right for you, regardless of what someone else says.
2) Stand in the closet until someone opens the door. There’s always an opportunity where someone will lead the way into a conversation. It’s up to you if you want to jump in or out. Many people have outed themselves unwittingly or without planning to just because they get sick and tired of keeping it to themselves or listening to homophobia.
3) Do not be frightened about coming out there’s lots of support available. If you can’t find any support then you can allways contact us daily.
4) If you are having a tough time with Coming Out or if you are already out but need someone to talk to, you can contact us and we can provide you Face to Face consultation and help.
Your stories can help many people. Through your story many can see that others has same or similar problems when is about their sexual orientation. As in their family, also among their friends too. We would like you to tell us your story and in that way help us to tell others what is the real situation about LGBT community in Montenegro.
Story you would like to share with all those people who are in similar or same situations as you are will be shown on this page. Your story you can send on firstname.lastname@example.org OR simply filling in form you can see bellow.
Sending your story to our e-mail of trough forum you see above, it will mean that you agree to put it on our website.
Thank you for you trust and willingness to share your story with others!
LGBT Form Progress Team
31.01.2011. Original article – Same sex communities hides behind walls
07.02.2011. Original article -No way to Europe with second-class citizens
26.02.2011. Original article - NGO to wait for a new minister
02.03.2011. Original article - With Dinosha direct and specifically
17.03.2011. Original article - Dinosha is scandalous
24.03.2011. Original article -Sexual freedom chance for Montenegro
25.03.2011. Original article - Cooperation with civil sector
25.03.2011. Original article - Atlas television, Forum 60 – Authority of ZIKS (Jail) had meeting with civil sector
18.02.2011. Original article – “Publicly for their rights”
10.03.2011. Original article - Stop conflict of interest
12.03.2011. Original article - Constitution also protects sexual and national minorities
24.03.2011. Original article – Government doesn’t know what is all about